Giving Thanks
There are not many things in the world that do not have some value. Mosquitos, flat beer, pineapple on pizza. Not many others.
What always has value are the people in our lives. Like many mornings, I woke up thinking/dreaming about people that have passed in my life. This morning, it was about sledding down the hill at home with my brother and sister when we were kids, very young.
It is one of those memories that has stayed with me. I can feel how cold and wet my feet were, even though Mama had put all of our feet in bread bags before putting our boots on. I can see the sun sparkling off the snow. I can hear the crunch under our feet as we drag the red saucer back up the hill.
We were freezing and soaking and having a ball. Maybe that is such a strong memory, that I come back to often, because we were happy together. In short, we loved each other, though I would have punched you for suggesting it, that wasn't cool.
On any other day, you would have generally found Lorne and I rolling around trading punches and kicks. I love my brother more than I can express, but at that age, I don't know that we went more than 20 minutes without some kind of scuffle. I am thankful we have grown out of that, and to a better place.
So, this memory stands out because it is a clear, good one. I am thankful that I have that memory, among others that are just pure happy, that involve my sister. She has passed on now, and there won't be any more memories made together. And, not too many years after my memory, life would change for all three of us, and there would be very few happy memories together after that.
Almost every day, I have a good memory of my Pop. Something happens, or someone says something, and I am immediately 9 or 10, and back on the farm getting life lessons of more value than you can describe with money. I have such vivid connection, because I choose to have it. I have long since cemented those things in my mind.
You cannot choose your family, but you can choose your approach. I choose to program myself to the positive, to cementing the good in my mind. I have no bad memories of my Uncle Billy, can't think of one. I can't remember a single negative thing about my Maw Maw, even after the Alzheimer's starting stealing her.
I choose to cement the things that uplift me, that buoy me. For that, I have been blessed with a remarkable family full of good deeds, warm hearts and beautiful moments. It is hard for me to remember the bad times, like passings and sickness. Of course it is there. I remember my high school locker combination, 16-24-32, of course I remember the trauma. But, that is not what comes to my mind in unguarded moments.
The reason is that I find too much in my life to be thankful for. Because of that, I don't hold sorrow in dread, I don't fear hurt. I have too many things that are wonderful and I am truly grateful for, to worry that sorrow or hurt will overcome me. And, I think that is true in most lives.
So, I hope that today is a day that you can give thanks. I give thanks daily. Whether I am a good man or not is always an open question, but that is because of me, and not my life. And, let me just tell you, I am not from a family that would stand out to the world as "lucky", but that is because the world is stupid when it comes to value.
I don't know them, but I will state without reservation, that in all the ways that matter, my family is as rich or richer than the Waltons, the Trumps, the Gates, the Saudis, the British Royal Family. No group of people has ever piled up more value than those good folks who are part of my clan.
My clan includes the best of me, and tolerates and mostly ignores the worst of me. I love them with all my heart. I learned long ago, that my love does not mean that I can protect them or prevent them from having bad experiences. But, it will always value them for the good, and will never let the bad taint them to me.
That is what love is, I think. Even when those closest to us fall, when things like addiction, mental illness, trauma, make them do things that hurt us, that we have no concept of, no ability to understand; there is still love there. It does not cover over the sins of our loved ones, but it does keep them from being permanent, if we let it.
So, today, this day, I am thankful for that day long ago, where we were happy, we were young. I am happy for the infinite memories since, holding babies for the first time, baptisms, weddings, visits, times that seemed unimportant in the moment, but are forever there for me.
I am thankful for the people in those memories, because they are God's greatest gift on this earth. Nothing and no one can take away our loved ones. We have to give them away. Sometimes, that is necessary, for our own safety and sanity. But, even then, you do not have to give away the good memories and the things that warm you. You only cheat yourself when you give those away. Because you are the only one that can feel that loss.
Happy Thanksgiving. If you are hurting, if you are angry, if you are disappointed, if you are frustrated, if you are scared, if you are worried, if you are denying, if you are confused, in some place in your heart, be thankful for that. It means that there is a connection to someone strong enough to make you feel that way.
That means, there is plenty of things to choose to cement in your mind and heart that will banish all those other feelings. Not immediately, and not forever more, but I guarantee there is enough good and happy to overcome any of the negative. You get to choose. And I am thankful we all have that choice. And I pray, that today, you choose wisely.
I try hard to. I don't always, but I constantly reserve the right to change my decision and claim the good. I think of it as my Wanda Factor. One of the greatest gifts she gave me, and it took me almost 40 years to get it straight.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I am thankful that we are all given the choice, and I am thankful at how good my choices are. Peace.
And, Sis, I hope that you are sitting up there with Mama and Granny and Maw Maw, laughing and smiling. That is what I choose to imagine, and I hope with all my heart, that we see each other again.
What always has value are the people in our lives. Like many mornings, I woke up thinking/dreaming about people that have passed in my life. This morning, it was about sledding down the hill at home with my brother and sister when we were kids, very young.
It is one of those memories that has stayed with me. I can feel how cold and wet my feet were, even though Mama had put all of our feet in bread bags before putting our boots on. I can see the sun sparkling off the snow. I can hear the crunch under our feet as we drag the red saucer back up the hill.
We were freezing and soaking and having a ball. Maybe that is such a strong memory, that I come back to often, because we were happy together. In short, we loved each other, though I would have punched you for suggesting it, that wasn't cool.
On any other day, you would have generally found Lorne and I rolling around trading punches and kicks. I love my brother more than I can express, but at that age, I don't know that we went more than 20 minutes without some kind of scuffle. I am thankful we have grown out of that, and to a better place.
So, this memory stands out because it is a clear, good one. I am thankful that I have that memory, among others that are just pure happy, that involve my sister. She has passed on now, and there won't be any more memories made together. And, not too many years after my memory, life would change for all three of us, and there would be very few happy memories together after that.
Almost every day, I have a good memory of my Pop. Something happens, or someone says something, and I am immediately 9 or 10, and back on the farm getting life lessons of more value than you can describe with money. I have such vivid connection, because I choose to have it. I have long since cemented those things in my mind.
You cannot choose your family, but you can choose your approach. I choose to program myself to the positive, to cementing the good in my mind. I have no bad memories of my Uncle Billy, can't think of one. I can't remember a single negative thing about my Maw Maw, even after the Alzheimer's starting stealing her.
I choose to cement the things that uplift me, that buoy me. For that, I have been blessed with a remarkable family full of good deeds, warm hearts and beautiful moments. It is hard for me to remember the bad times, like passings and sickness. Of course it is there. I remember my high school locker combination, 16-24-32, of course I remember the trauma. But, that is not what comes to my mind in unguarded moments.
The reason is that I find too much in my life to be thankful for. Because of that, I don't hold sorrow in dread, I don't fear hurt. I have too many things that are wonderful and I am truly grateful for, to worry that sorrow or hurt will overcome me. And, I think that is true in most lives.
So, I hope that today is a day that you can give thanks. I give thanks daily. Whether I am a good man or not is always an open question, but that is because of me, and not my life. And, let me just tell you, I am not from a family that would stand out to the world as "lucky", but that is because the world is stupid when it comes to value.
I don't know them, but I will state without reservation, that in all the ways that matter, my family is as rich or richer than the Waltons, the Trumps, the Gates, the Saudis, the British Royal Family. No group of people has ever piled up more value than those good folks who are part of my clan.
My clan includes the best of me, and tolerates and mostly ignores the worst of me. I love them with all my heart. I learned long ago, that my love does not mean that I can protect them or prevent them from having bad experiences. But, it will always value them for the good, and will never let the bad taint them to me.
That is what love is, I think. Even when those closest to us fall, when things like addiction, mental illness, trauma, make them do things that hurt us, that we have no concept of, no ability to understand; there is still love there. It does not cover over the sins of our loved ones, but it does keep them from being permanent, if we let it.
So, today, this day, I am thankful for that day long ago, where we were happy, we were young. I am happy for the infinite memories since, holding babies for the first time, baptisms, weddings, visits, times that seemed unimportant in the moment, but are forever there for me.
I am thankful for the people in those memories, because they are God's greatest gift on this earth. Nothing and no one can take away our loved ones. We have to give them away. Sometimes, that is necessary, for our own safety and sanity. But, even then, you do not have to give away the good memories and the things that warm you. You only cheat yourself when you give those away. Because you are the only one that can feel that loss.
Happy Thanksgiving. If you are hurting, if you are angry, if you are disappointed, if you are frustrated, if you are scared, if you are worried, if you are denying, if you are confused, in some place in your heart, be thankful for that. It means that there is a connection to someone strong enough to make you feel that way.
That means, there is plenty of things to choose to cement in your mind and heart that will banish all those other feelings. Not immediately, and not forever more, but I guarantee there is enough good and happy to overcome any of the negative. You get to choose. And I am thankful we all have that choice. And I pray, that today, you choose wisely.
I try hard to. I don't always, but I constantly reserve the right to change my decision and claim the good. I think of it as my Wanda Factor. One of the greatest gifts she gave me, and it took me almost 40 years to get it straight.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I am thankful that we are all given the choice, and I am thankful at how good my choices are. Peace.
And, Sis, I hope that you are sitting up there with Mama and Granny and Maw Maw, laughing and smiling. That is what I choose to imagine, and I hope with all my heart, that we see each other again.
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